DOH! They Walk Among Us ... And They REPRODUCE!

[Gugi47]

DOH! They Walk Among Us ... And They REPRODUCE!
Note: Following are some true stories of people who have had real life close encounters with the brain dead who walk among us. You've been warned!

1. I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
-- From Kingman, Kansas, USA.

2. I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
-- This happened in Birmingham, Alabama, USA.

3. I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
-- No further data was provided.